Hilarious Quotes
(Some of the funny lines in Avonlea)

Jo Pitts::  BURP!
Hetty::  Sara Stanley!! Say excuse me!
Jo Pitts:: You're excused.
Hetty:: NOT ME! You're the one who.. Regurgitated!
Jo Pitts:: I NEVER DID IN MY LIFE!

"Such dreams Felix. Where do they all go?" Felicity

"You're like an ocean breeze... not that you smell like fish or anything." Felix

"I would rather put my head in a noose, then have some lady bid on me as if I were a prize pig at a county fair!" Simon Tremayne

"Felicity, you do have a lot of cherries in your pie!" Sara

"When your heart skips a beat, it isn't love, it's indigestion."  Rachel Lynde

Marilla:: Rachel, I never cease being amazed by your lack of tact.
Rachel::I have no tact. I'm noted for that.

Felix:: How do I look?
Felicity:: Why ask me, you arleady know what I think of you.

"Look at that, she's doin a play." Gus

"Aunt Hetty asked me to rub some sense into you and I intend to rub hard."  Felicity

Janet:: I think we should call a specialist in from the city.
Hetty:: I don't believe in specialists. The tell you what's wrong with the right nostril, know nothing of the left.

"If you ask me, a little too much 'Inspiration' leaked into his vocal chords."  Hetty

Felicity:: REPEAT AFTER ME! I am a Loathsome, Borish, Squid.
Felix:: I am.. a loathsome.. borish.. squid.
Felicity:: That'll teach you to ruin my afternoon!

Felicity:: Couldn't you just find the comb? You found Jane Spry's cat last month!
Peg Bowen:: The comb doesn't meow outside my door in the middle of the night!

Felicity:: You have to promise! Spit on your hand!Now rub it on your heart.
Felix:: That's DISGUSTING!
Felicity:: DO IT!

"Henry sat right up in the casket looked around at all the candles, and said 'Who's birthday is it anyway?' " Rachel

Felicity:: Maybe you should take The Bible with you.... just incase.
Janet:: Incase of what??
Felicity:: ...the end of the world.

Felix:: I .. read your diary.
Felicity:: Perhaps thats enough confessions.
Felix:: ... out loud.
Felicity:: .. to who?
Felix:: Let's see.. .. um everyone.... we were camping!... everyone laughed at the gushy parts about Gus Pike.
Sara:: GUS PIKE!!
Felix:: Gus didn't laugh... his ears turned bright red.
Felicity:: YOU READ IT TO GUS??!! .... I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FELIX!!!!
Sara:: Felicity.. STOP! I don't think God would forgive it if you killed Felix while the world was ending!!

"IT'S CRUEL! IT'S INHUMAN! IT'S INEDIBLE!"
Pierre Jean Lapierre

"Him Brilliant?"
Pierre Jean Lapierre

"We got more spinsters here than a cats got whiskers.!"
Rachel Lynde

"The only woman I know who's tongue could fry bacon!" Mr. Harrison (about Rachel Lynde)